Jumper Release Date: February 14, 2008 Starring: Hayden Christensen, Rachel Bilson, Samuel L. Jackson, Jamie Bell, Michael Rooker, Diane Lane Directed by: Doug Liman
Of course, once Dan realizes he's being tracked by a group of implacable killers, who hold Jumpers still via huge doses of electricity before disemboweling them… that's when he gets the bright idea to reconnect with all the hometown folks he left behind, most notably the now-grown up Millie (Bilson) who he romances on a whirlwind trip to Rome… a jaunt that of course presents her as a potential target for Roland and company. Smug and dumb, that's how we like our heroes. Attempting to clue Dan in is Griffin, a Jumper obsessed with revenging himself on Roland and quite the nut case. Jamie Bell's performance here livens things up quite a bit; one imagines the movie might have been more tolerably cretinous had he been the main character. Lane shows up about halfway through to chip in the picture's most thoroughly idiotic plot twist.
One of the funnier aspects of Jumper is how shamelessly it sets itself up for a sequel, to the point of arbitrarily turning a vicious battle to the death into a strategic match between respectful opponents, just to keep all its principals alive for the next installment. Blockbuster moviemaking doesn't get more nakedly cynical. Which I guess is something in itself…