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PREMIERE'S REVIEW (posted 9/14/07)

Calling in another one as the deadpan grump who mercilessly picks on kids, Bad Billy Bob follows up Bad Santa, Bad News Bears, and the just-plain-bad School for Scoundrels with an exhausted shtick for Bad Gym Coach — which is no Superbad, but in fact, Super Incredibly Bad. This one's been sitting on shelves for two years — never good news — and you can almost see the dollar signs in the cast's eyes, as if producers waved before them the box office receipts for Meet the Fockers and claimed whatever uninspired, family comedy they had was high-concept gold — what this snore surely ain't.

Now a self-help guru after working through 13 years of fat-kid humiliation at the hands of Thornton's titular teacher, John Farley (Scott) returns home to Nebraska and finds out Mom (Sarandon) is shacking up with the white devil himself. A postponed book tour has allowed Farley to stick around for his hometown to award him the prestigious Corn Cob Key (at the "Cornival," no less), giving him time to exact revenge on Woodcock by breaking up his relationship. As if you couldn't see the reversal coming, the old man further torments him through both insult and injury, mean yet lazy gags so broad you can't see their edges. The multiply rehashed "plowing your Mom" punch line especially reminded me of Idiocracy, Mike Judge's near-brilliant satire on the dumbing down of America; what jokingly passes for entertainment within that film is sadly true here: Ow, my balls!

Amy Poehler shows up for half a laugh as a boozehound publicist, and soon Farley eventually learns the true spirit of Christmas or something when he realizes the feud is hurting his ma. There's not really more to say, except to congratulate Sarandon for owning her singular role as the oblivious set-up to pratfalls right under her nose — she's somehow the only star who doesn't end up looking like an overpaid idiot working miles beneath her abilities. And that's a pretty cutting thing to say when you figure in Scott's standard fratboy follies.

— Aaron Hillis