PREMIERE.COM’S REVIEW (posted 5/13/05)

When you buy a ticket for a new movie, you’re either going to see a good film, a bad film, or a “so bad, it’s good” film.  Showgirls, Glitter, Starship Troopers—all films which are so bad that they are somehow enjoyable. 

One of my favorite “so bad, it’s good” film is Renny Harlin’s 1999 Deep Blue Sea, an underwater thriller about a group of scientists who think they’re in control but are really being manipulated (and systematically murdered) a group of jacked-up sharks.  The film boasts a likeable cast (including LL Cool J), cheesy special effects, bad dialogue, and zero chemistry between its leading actors.  I love that movie.  I watch it every time it’s on cable, which is quite a lot thanks to TBS. 

So, it stands to reason that Mindhunters would be right up my alley.  After all, it’s a thriller set on a remote island about a group of FBI profilers who think they’re in control, but are really being manipulated by (and systematically murdered by) a serial killer hidden among them.  The film boasts a likeable cast (including LL Cool J), cheesy special effects, bad dialogue, and zero chemistry between its leading actors.  So, what went wrong?

How about everything?  The film has so many plot holes that it’s the celluloid equivalent of Swiss cheese.  The climatic shoot-out is laughingly ridiculous, as is much of the dialogue.  I can also attest that the only thing worse than Jonny Lee Miller’s attempt at an American accent, as in Hackers, is when he tries it with a southern drawl. 

It’s a shame really.  The premise is actually quite interesting, and the deaths are highly original and fairly gruesome.  Who knows what might have been if everyone involved had a little more fun with the project instead of just going through the motions?

—Nicole Perri