The Onion Movie
Cast: Steven Seagal

Unlike the rest of the films on this list, The Onion Movie was actually produced, but you won't find any trace of it on IMDB. The trail of tears begins back in late 2003, when the minds behind the satirical rag signed with Fox Searchlight to make a no-holds-barred sketch-comedy movie. Under the guidance of producer and well known spoofer David Zucker of Airplane fame, The Onion's then-editor Robert Siegel and writer Todd Hanson penned a script that tackled cultural mores with skits called "Who Is the Rapist?" and even convinced Steven Seagal to play himself as a superhero named "Cock Puncher." Fox Searchlight didn't see the humor. Now the only evidence that the film even exists is a review on the website JoBlo from a reader who "wanted to poke my eyes out" after seeing a test screening.

Project Status: In March 2007, The Onion's president Sean Mills said they were no longer associated with the film — but call us a glutton for punishment or just eternal optimists for still wanting a peek.

NEXT: Rendezvous With Rama, based on Arthur C. Clake's sci-fi classic