11 Movie Malls We Wouldn't Want To Hang Out At

In the new Seth Rogen comedy, Observe and Report, a flasher tortures the patrons at a local mall by dangling his junk in front of their unwilling eyes. It’s certainly not the first time Hollywood has given unlucky shoppers the business. Here are 11 more movie malls we wouldn’t set foot in, no matter how good the sales are.

By: Premiere.com Staff

04/14/2009 12:00 am

1. Dawn of the Dead

A mall with no one to make you pay for anything sounds great, right? Well, the Zombies banging at the doors, trying to get in and eat your brain might damper your shopping spree a tad.

2. Eight Legged Freaks

Lots of people hate spiders, but not even the most dedicated mall walkers would be willing to put up with mutated arachnids the size of elephants.

3. Chopping Mall

Paul Blart may kind of suck at his job, but the robotic sentinels that guard this shopping center have the opposite problem. After a malfunction, they start killing everyone they perceive to be a threat to their precious stores.

4. Back To The Future

You just got over your fear of a mugger jacking your wallet in the dark mall parking lot and now you have to start worrying about a VW bus full of terrorists lacing you up with machine guns.

5. Gremlins

The gremlins aren't quite as bad as the zombies, but we wouldn't want to be around once they get into the food court, or worse, the fountain.

6. Blues Brothers

The risk of getting run down by a high-speed police chase should be enough motivation to go elsewhere next time you need “haircuts and disco pants.”

7. Jingle All the Way

The mall is usually insane on the days leading up to Christmas, but when your story involves breaking your leg after tripping on a remote control car driven by Arnold Schwarzenegger, you have taken last-minute shopping to the next level. Also, Sinbad is there. Yikes.

8. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

We’re not sure what would be worse: Getting hit by Genghis Khan with a baseball bat or having to tell your buddies that your girlfriend dumped you for Socrates. Tough call.

9. Paul Blart Mall Cop

When it comes to protecting mall patrons, Paul Blart wouldn’t be our first choice. Who are we kidding? He wouldn’t be our 10th choice. It’s tough putting your safety in the hands of a fat man on a Segway.

10. Scenes From A Mall

This mall doesn’t have anything that could actually kill you like zombies, robots or mutant spiders. But we’d gladly take disembowelment over listening to Woody Allen and Bette Midler prattle on about their marital problems.